【吐槽双声道】梅罗对决改到机场进行 赢家可选靠窗座位

今天，足球天空小毅给大家分享阿鲁姆带来的《【吐槽双声道】梅罗对决改到机场进行 赢家可选靠窗座位》。

吐槽双声道，一档无节操翻译栏目，主要素材来自国外吐槽社区reddit的足球版r/soccer，通过二次加工制造接地气笑点！

@乌拉圭 2-1 葡萄牙

[–]【Mexico】RubberToe1996 692 points 5 hours ago

I"m just sad.

Messi & Ronaldo possibly playing their last World Cup match.

End of an era in International Football & for many who grew up watching these two icons from the begining of their respective careers

The end is getting nearer every year & I"m not ready.

我很难过。

梅西和C罗可能都是最后一届世界杯了。

国家队层面一个时代的终结，我们很多人都是看着他们职业生涯的开端长大的

终点已经越来越近，但我还没做好准备。

[–]【Croatia】sweetlove 424 points 5 hours ago

Have you heard the news of our lord and savior Mbappe?

你难道没有听说我们新的上帝和救世主姆巴佩吗？

[–]【England】theivoryserf 242 points 4 hours ago

I"d find it delicious if Mbappe dominates the Ballon D"Ors before Neymar gets his inheritance

要是姆巴佩在内马尔继承金球奖之前能先拿到金球，我觉得简直美滋滋

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[–]【Russia】sarcastr0naut 286 points 5 hours ago

Team Nipples looking more solid than Team Thighs so far.

目前激凸队比大腿队看起来更稳一点。

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[–]【Brazil】BoseSounddock 148 points 6 hours ago

“We don’t need no midfield.” - Suarez and Cavani

“真男人不需要中场。”——苏亚雷斯和卡瓦尼

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[–]【United States】the_cunt_muncher 679 points 6 hours ago

The dude on Fox was like, "The last time Uruguay won their first 4 WC matches they won the WC".

I looked it up, and Uruguay only played 4 games total that World Cup. 2 group matches, semi-final, final. So I feel like that"s one of those dumb but technically correct stats.

Fox体育这货说，“上一次乌拉圭赢得他们前4场世界杯比赛的时候，他们夺冠了。”

我找了一下，乌拉圭那届世界杯就打了4场。2场小组赛，一场半决赛，一场决赛。所以我觉得又看到了一条很傻叉但是技术上又没有毛病的数据。

[–]【Brazil】limito1 307 points 6 hours ago

If you win your games you win the tournament. TIL.

要是你赢下了全部比赛，你就赢下了世界杯。今天我算是学会了。

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[–]【Spain】Seb-sama 570 points 6 hours ago

This match will determine who will face Argentina at the airport qualifiers

这场比赛将会决定1/4决赛的时候谁会和阿根廷，在机场会师

[–]NotASynthDotcom 308 points 6 hours ago

So Messi v Ronaldo still a chance?

所以梅西还是有机会对决C罗？

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[–]【Barcelona】5tunter 479 points 4 hours ago

Portugal vs Argentina

Pseudo Quarter-Finals

Venue : Airport

Winners get window seats

葡萄牙 vs 阿根廷

伪1/4决赛

场地：机场

谁赢了能靠窗坐

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[–]【Chelsea】DasPossum 2062 points 4 hours ago

RIP Ronaldo"s goatee June 2018 - June 2018.

RIP C罗的山羊胡 2018年6月-2018年6月。

[–]【Chelsea】renome 272 points 4 hours ago

Didn"t look good on him IMO, very few people can pull off that look.

个人觉得他留山羊胡也不好看，这个造型很少人能hold得住的。

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[–]【Manchester United】astarkey12 1956 points 4 hours ago

Pitch MOTM for me. Really broke up a lot of play on the defensive side of the ball.

我觉得球场才是全场最佳。帮防守那边破坏了很多对方进攻。

[–]【Chelsea】nothrowaway4me 746 points 4 hours ago

Yeah, wtf happened in the last 15 minutes? The Portuguese players were slipping non stop

是的，最后15分钟什么情况？葡萄牙球员各种滑倒停不下来了

[–]【Leicester City】SaucyBean 534 points 4 hours ago

That cross at the end, about 4 Portuguese players in the middle all fell over each other

最后的传中，差不多4个葡萄牙球员全都摔一块儿去了

[–]【Chelsea】Atrick69 223 points 4 hours ago

How can a World Cup pitch be so shit? So many slips and fuck ups because of it.

世界杯球场为什么还能这么屎的？因为球场产生了这么多滑倒和失误。

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[–]【Central African Republic】MiniEggsAreMyHeroin 471 points 4 hours ago

Reckon Uruguay would have successfully defended the Falklands.

感觉当年福克兰岛要是派乌拉圭去就守住了啊。

[–]【England】cake_flattener1 136 points 3 hours ago

Tomahawk missile comes in, headed away by Godin.

Entire squad of Royal Marines blocked by Gimenez.

Suarez bites a Gurkha. The Gurkha bites him harder.

战斧导弹进来，被戈丁顶出去。

整个皇家海军全被希梅内斯一人挡住。

苏亚雷斯咬了古尔卡兵。古尔卡兵反过来咬得更猛。

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[–]【Croatia】Arvi833 1661 points 4 hours ago

Legend says Godín is still effortlessly clearing shit crosses. Honestly why did they think that would work against Uruguay?

坊间传闻戈丁这会儿仍在不费吹灰之力地解围葡萄牙的垃圾传中。讲真，他们为啥会觉得传中大法会对乌拉圭有效？

[–]【Manchester City】Driveshaft48 663 points 4 hours ago

What other option did they have? The long shots were even worse.... Besides Bernardo Silva not many creative players.

他们还有别的办法吗？远射更加没用……除了B席之外也没什么有创造力的球员。

[–]【Chelsea】nothrowaway4me 493 points 4 hours ago

This game fully exposed Portugal"s shortcomings as a team. Ronaldo didn"t have anyone in attack whom he could pass to.

It was too easy for Uruguays defense to stack up on him knowing the other Portuguese players couldn"t really do much.

Whereas Uruguay had both Suarez and Cavanni up front, that"s where the difference was made.

这场比赛完全暴露了葡萄牙全队的弱点。C罗进攻中没有任何传球目标。

乌拉圭防线可以轻松围攻C罗，因为他们很明白葡萄牙其他进攻队员没什么卵用。

而乌拉圭则有苏亚雷斯和卡瓦尼顶在锋线，差距在这里就体现了。

[–]SpeakLikeAChild04 197 points 4 hours ago

Guedes was awful and anonymous after having a great season with Valencia. The guy killed them because he"s supposed to be a good player but did nothing.

格德斯在瓦伦这个赛季打得这么好，世界杯却很糟糕而且又隐身了。这家伙杀死了球队，因为本来指望他能有所发挥结果他什么贡献都没有。

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[–]【England】Christian_Pulishit 4000 points 4 hours ago

Cristiano Ronaldo ? Lionel Messi ? Welcome to Airport ? Best Moments ? 1080p Ultra HD ? Despacito

C罗 ? 梅西 ? 欢迎来到机场 ? 精彩瞬间 ? 1080p 超清 ? Despacito

[–]【England】RussellStringerBell 818 points 4 hours ago

Not even 4k smh

竟然都不是4k画质的

[–]TheEdgeDancerReturns 1134 points 4 hours ago

4K is for winners.

赢家才配的上4K，输球还好意思4K。

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[–]【Manchester United】DarkSofter 1946 points 4 hours ago

Thank you Uruguay for saving us from Cristiano Ronaldo vs Messi stats this next 2 weeks

感谢乌拉圭拯救了我们，后面2周不用再看C罗vs梅西数据了

[–]【Chelsea】iiPixel 574 points 4 hours ago

Were going to still get "Messi and Ronaldo both gone in the knockouts. Will they play in the NEXT WORLD CUP?" for the next week for sure.

下一周肯定会有“梅罗都被淘汰了，但是他们下一届世界杯还会再见吗？”

[–]【Barcelona】gwynn- 198 points 4 hours ago

Unless Ronaldo is a legit robot he"s 100% not playing in the next cup, but Messi might. Unlikely but he might.

除非C罗真的是机器人，不然他100%不会再踢一届了，但是梅西也许会。不太可能，但是也许会。

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[–]【Norwich City】CranberryNapalm 1235 points 4 hours ago

This World Cup has been fucking awesome.

这届世界杯真是太他妈精彩了。

[–]【Croatia】ace_valentine 166 points 4 hours ago

So many bangers it’s incredible

这么多世界波真是帅爆了

[–]【Senegal】AxisFifa 723 points 4 hours ago

That cuz ur a neutral, tell me that when you put ur heart into your team and Norwich goes out in the group stage

那是因为你是中立球迷，告诉我如果你全心全意都给了诺维奇，结果他小组出局了你什么感受

[–]giuliettazoccola 536 points 4 hours ago

I think Norwich fans know how to cope with defeat.

我觉得诺维奇球迷对这都是家常便饭了。

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[–]【Burnley】GrandmasterSexay 296 points 4 hours ago

The winner of Ronaldo v Messi finally answered. It"s Mbappe.

梅罗之争的赢家终于揭晓了。他是姆巴佩。

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[–]【Real Madrid】Number333 916 points 5 hours ago

If I"m a Portuguese fan, I can"t be mad about this result. Admirable performance but that Uruguayan fortress + two sensational goals you can"t be haunted. If anything, that 93rd minute equalizer by Iran flipping from Russia to Uruguay would haunt me more than anything.

如果我是葡萄牙球迷，这比分我都没什么好不爽的。表现很出色，但是这乌拉圭铜墙铁壁+两粒超级进球没的说。一定要说的话，那就是93分钟被伊朗扳平，对手从俄罗斯变成乌拉圭最让我不甘心了。

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