【吐槽双声道】光传不射板鸭成德国2.0，遍地冷门下一个巴西？

今天，足球天空小毅给大家分享阿鲁姆带来的《【吐槽双声道】光传不射板鸭成德国2.0，遍地冷门下一个巴西？》。

吐槽双声道，一档无节操翻译栏目，主要素材来自国外吐槽社区reddit的足球版r/soccer，通过二次加工制造接地气笑点！

@西班牙 4-5 俄罗斯

[–]【Spain】enterpriseF-love 1351 points 6 hours ago

Spain passing so well they passed on the world cup

西班牙太能传了，把自己传回家去了

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[–]【Germany】BallPlartCallMop 455 points 6 hours ago

Spain truly played like World Champions today. Unfortunately for them that means playing like us.

西班牙今天的表现真是世界杯冠军级的。不幸的是，是像我德这种冠军。

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[–]【Atlético Madrid】HandRailSuicide1 1628 points 6 hours ago

What a fucking save

这扑救太屌了

[–]【Barcelona】Thugging_inPublic 721 points 6 hours ago

De Gea asks: what"s a save?

德赫亚问道：哪有扑救？

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[–]Rooonaldooo99 3649 points 6 hours ago

Russia with the FIFA tactic of just shooting in the middle

俄罗斯罚点球这是FIFA里的战术啊，就踢你中路

[–]【Mexico】Man0nTheMoon915 444 points 6 hours ago

Russia is your 9yr old little brother

俄罗斯就跟你9岁的表弟一个水平

[–]Blazing_Shade 676 points 6 hours ago

Cheryschev has balls

切里舍夫真他妈有种

[–]【Republic of Ireland】Matthew_1453 239 points 6 hours ago

Ye that"s the kind of thing that if you fail at you"ll look like a fool

是的，这种动作你要是没做成，自己就跟个傻X一样

[–]【PSV Eindhoven】ActionWaction 270 points 6 hours ago

Touched 3 penalties, unlucky...

碰到了3个点球，不走运……

[–]【Poland】thesilentGinlasagna 421 points 6 hours ago

SAVED 0

扑出0个

[–]【Spain】Pemoniz 332 points 6 hours ago

Really consistent tournament from him.

他这届发挥是真的稳定。

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[–]【Brazil】carterish 3518 points 6 hours ago

Imagine making over 1000 passes and scoring solely through an own goal

想象一下传了1000脚球，结果唯一的进球还是靠对方的乌龙

[–]【Barcelona】Thugging_inPublic 1125 points 6 hours ago

They didn"t record a single shot until after Russia scored in the 40th.

40分钟俄罗斯进球之前，他们连一脚射门都没有。

[–]【Iran】owterash 214 points 6 hours ago

Hierro mastrrclass

耶罗大师级指挥

[–]gunsof 109 points 6 hours ago

Not really Hierro, just Spain"s general play. They"d likely do it with any coach unless someone decided to be brave and play with wingers.

不是耶罗的锅，西班牙一直都这么打。他们跟所有教练都这么打，除非那个教练胆肥的敢上边锋。

[–]【Liverpool】YungSnuggie 577 points 6 hours ago

possession for possession"s sake. embarassing

为了控球而控球。丢人

[–]【Barcelona】SoCoolTheyCallMeCulo 230 points 6 hours ago

Possession without penetration is just masturbation

俗话说，没有渗透的控球就跟打手枪一样，到头来都是假的

[–]【Canada】Taxonomyoftaxes 233 points 6 hours ago

When is Spain going to learn the rest of the world figured out Tiki-Taka four years ago?

西班牙要到哪天才能明白，全世界4年前就已经吃透tiki-taka了？

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[–]【Germany】Atari_7200 1875 points 6 hours ago

That"s what you get for playing 120 minutes of football without creating any meaningful chances until like 5 minutes before the end.

Imagine having 79% possession, 1114 passes, and only putting 9 shots on target in 120 minutes (plus added time).

打了120分钟，创造不出任何有意义的机会，直到最后5分钟才好好踢的结果就是这样。

79%控球，1114脚传球，120分钟就打正了9脚门。

[–]【Schalke 04】hairykimchi 705 points 6 hours ago

Seems familiar for some reason..

不知为何似曾相识……

[–]mcm_xci 231 points 6 hours ago

Germany 2.0

德国2.0

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[–]【Real Madrid】UsernameReIevant 163 points 7 hours ago

1030 completed passes by Spain, all for nothing

西班牙全场1030脚传球，全都打水漂

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[–]【Poland】thesilentGinlasagna 1926 points 7 hours ago

If you told me Russia were gonna beat Spain in this World Cup I would’ve laughed in your face

要是你之前跟我说，世界杯上俄罗斯能赢西班牙，我大概会当面嘲笑你

[–]【Chelsea】Banana_massacre 263 points 6 hours ago

Next you"re gonna tell me Germany finished last in their group

然后你会告诉我德国会小组垫底

[–]【Denmark】eighthgear 979 points 7 hours ago

Post-2012 Spain always plays this dull, lethargic football. The Portugal match was the exception, not the norm.

2012年后的西班牙一直打得都这么无聊，没生气。对葡萄牙那场比赛绝对是例外，超常发挥。

[–]【Sweden】randomperson2704 256 points 7 hours ago

What about against Argentina

之前6-1阿根廷怎么说

[–]【Wales】AngryWelshSheep 210 points 7 hours ago

And Germany a few month ago

还有对德国

[–]【Nagoya Grampus】shine_baka 326 points 6 hours ago*

I sense a theme of Spain playing* fairly well against countries that don"t park the bus entirely.

不禁感觉到，西班牙对阵不完全摆大巴的球队打得都很好。

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[–]【Real Madrid】Number333 1486 points 7 hours ago

de Gea felt like a keeper in FIFA diving the right way and getting nothing but air. Can"t believe Russia"s apart of the Final 8.

德赫亚给我感觉就是FIFA里那种能扑对方向但是除了空气什么都扑不到的门将。难以置信俄罗斯进了8强。

[–]【Spain】Slimshady305 252 points 7 hours ago

De Gea could have saved 2 penalties. Got unlucky.

德赫亚应该可以扑掉2个点球的。不走运而已。

[–]【Spain】JKHighLight 154 points 7 hours ago

Akinfeev could have saved 1 penalty. He saved 2. That"s the difference between winning and losing

阿金费耶夫本来可以扑掉1个点球。但是他扑掉了2个。这就是胜负的差别了

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[–]【Galatasaray】Aslan27 715 points 7 hours ago

Another fucking upset. I love the world cup

又是冷门。我太爱这届世界杯了

[–]MixedCaribCC 280 points 7 hours ago

no favourite is safe

豪门都不踏实

[–]【Manchester United】Voltage97 421 points 7 hours ago

Brazil next.

下一个就是巴西了。

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[–]jz68 467 points 7 hours ago

That"s what Spain gets for spending 70% of the game passing the ball around at midfield.

西班牙70%的时间在中场传来传去，就是这个结果。

[–]Blazing_Shade 190 points 7 hours ago

They do realize that you have to get the ball in the net to win, right?

他们应该知道球必须要进网，才能赢比赛吧？

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[–]finally_A_username 4006 points 7 hours ago

Rumor has it, Spain still passing the ball in the locker room

传闻说，现在西班牙还在更衣室里传球呢

[–]【Louisville City】Manus_Justus 1073 points 5 hours ago

80% possession, 1,000 passes, and 1 own goal from the other team.

80%控球，1000脚传球，唯一进球还是靠乌龙。

[–]【United States】UveDebauchedMySloth 567 points 5 hours ago

I"m just relieved they didn"t try passing it to each other during the PKs

看到他们点球大战的时候没把球传给队友已经让我松了一口气了

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[–]【Arsenal】Carterxix 13.0k points 7 hours ago

Portugal, Argentina, Spain, Germany, what a weird world cup.

葡萄牙、阿根廷、西班牙、德国，这届世界杯太诡异了。

[–]gerrardii 8365 points 7 hours ago

Italy that couldn"t even qualify.

意大利甚至连晋级都难。

[–]【France】FSA-Got-Aleppo 6909 points 7 hours ago

Who"s the Netherlands?

荷兰又是谁？

[–]【Shrewsbury Town】plazmablu 6241 points 7 hours ago

Swamp Germans

湿地德国（swamp germans的梗在reddit超火，真心不懂为什么）

[–]【Juventus】Aru10 957 points 7 hours ago

Italy & Netherlands: can"t disappoint your country if you don"t qualify /pointstemple

意大利和荷兰：要是不晋级，那就根本不会让国人失望啦

[–]【Deportivo Wanka】Prazza1 1877 points 7 hours ago

ENGLAND DARK HORSES? NO WAIT THATS RUSSIA

英格兰黑马夺冠？哦不，等等，那是俄罗斯

[–]【England】enordsn 883 points 7 hours ago

What a great World Cup

热门都出局了，这届世界杯太棒了

[–]aceent 1318 points 7 hours ago

You"re next.

你就是下一个。

[–]【Leicester City】HisEggcellency 550 points 7 hours ago

Brazil tomorrow?

明天先把巴西黑了？

[–]【Mexico】RicardoMayo_ 757 points 7 hours ago

I hope so.

我希望如此。

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[–]【Sweden】Vernand-J 5994 points 7 hours ago*

One of Russia, Croatia, Switzerland, Sweden, Colombia or England will play in the WC final.

俄罗斯、克罗地亚、瑞士、瑞典、哥伦比亚或者英格兰当中有一支球队会打进决赛。

[–]wk12498 2790 points 7 hours ago

this is actually insane who would have ever thought

这个真的疯了，有谁之前会想到

[–]【Mexico】Totaltrufas 744 points 7 hours ago

now that is a crazy fact. if theres ever been a year for england this is it

这个真的疯了。要是真有哪次是该英格兰夺冠，那就是今年这次了

[–]【Newcastle United】SocialistSloth1 1223 points 7 hours ago

Watch us lose 3-0 to Colombia now

那现在看好我们0-3输给哥伦比亚了

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[–]【Brazil】fussomoro 750 points 7 hours ago

It"s official. Defense is the better defense...

已经官方确认了。防守才是最好的防守……

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[–]【FC Porto】The_Goat_Charmer 1209 points 7 hours ago

1/3 of the best teams on paper are out already

纸面上最强的球队有1/3已经出局了

[–]【Mexico】Totaltrufas 3736 points 7 hours ago

crazy to think there"s gonna be a quarter final without messi, cristiano, or neymar

难以置信世界杯1/4决赛会没有梅西、C罗和内马尔

[–]spartanss300 1864 points 7 hours ago

Hey wait a minute

等等，内马尔是不是说的有点早

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[–]【Pe?arol】ksr_is_back 5503 points 7 hours ago

Daily reminder that possession doesn"t mean shit if you can"t score.

日常提醒，要是不能进球，控球率连个JB意义都没有。

[–]【Germany】kaOz1985 1097 points 7 hours ago

You don"t say

别说了

[–]【Manchester United】mayjaz43 644 points 7 hours ago

Laughs in Korean

韩国传来一阵爽朗的笑声

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